It's Getting Boring by the Sea
by JGL's Future Husband
Summary: Blaine Anderson falls for the beautiful yet mysterious Kurt Hummel, but soon discovers that in order to keep dating Kurt, he has to deal with Kurt's seven evil exes. Klaine with Kurtbastian/Kurtittany/Brittana/Kurt/OC's/lots of Niff.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N**_: _Scott Pilgrim_-based fic. The 7 evil exes are as follows: Luke Graham [see _**If You Leave**_], Dan Milstead [see _**Telephone**_], Derek Reese [see _**Anything Goes**_ and _**You and Me**_], Brittany Pierce, Tyler Mitchell [bit part in _**Teenage Suicide: Don't Do It**_], Troy Grant [see _**Not While I'm Around**_], and Sebastian Smythe.

* * *

Westerville, Ohio, modern day: Blaine Anderson was sitting with his friends Wes Montgomery, Thad Harwood, Nick Duval, and Jeff Sterling in a coffee shop, watching the many passersby.

"God, this place is so boring," Blaine grumbled.

"Got that right," Nick agreed, sipping his coffee. "It's like no one exciting ever comes through here."

Jeff sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. "Can we go back to Dalton, Nicky? I'm tired," he said.

"Jeffy, it's only five-thirty. We have three hours until curfew, what are we gonna do?" Nick asked. Just then someone new did walk into the Lima Bean: a boy, probably 16 or 17, tall, slender, perfectly clear skin, and glasz eyes. Blaine watched the boy move gracefully towards the counter.

"Hi, one grande non-fat mocha, please," the voice of an angel spoke to the barista.

"Oh my God," Blaine muttered.

"Ooh, Blainers has a new crush," Jeff teased.

"Shut up, Jeff," Blaine said absently.

"Yeah, shut up, _Jeffrey_," Nick smirked; Jeff smacked him on the shoulder.

"Stop it, the both of you," Wes ordered. "You're acting like children."

"I think that's because we're still children," Jeff said.

The barista handed the boy his coffee and the boy went to sit down; Blaine couldn't take his eyes off of him. He even sat in an elegant way, legs crossed and hands at the knee.

"Blaine? Hello, Blaine, are you there?" Thad asked, waving his hand in front of Blaine's face.

"Sorry, yeah…what-what did you say?" Blaine snapped out of his reverie and faced the four grinning boys.

"Blaine, go talk to him," Jeff urged.

"No, I'll just look like a dork," Blaine protested.

"You _are_ a dork, Blaine, but you can't help that," Nick quipped. "Although I think your love for _A Very Potter Musical_ may have a lot to do with that. Now go." Blaine stood up hesitantly and walked towards the beautiful boy.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"Hi, I'm Kurt, Kurt Hummel. What's your name?" the boy asked. _Kurt Hummel, what a name_, Blaine thought.

"Oh, um, I'm Blaine Anderson," Blaine said with a small blush. "A-are you new here?"

"Yep, just transferred to Dalton Academy from McKinley High because of some personal issues and I'm hoping Dalton is better," Kurt replied.

"I go to Dalton and so do my friends over there," Blaine said excitedly, nodding his head to the table from where the others waved.

"That's nice," Kurt said absently, sipping his mocha. His phone vibrated and he checked it; his face turned dark. Blaine backed away slightly. "Uh, Blaine, can I be alone for a moment?" he asked.

"Y-yeah, sure," Blaine replied, hurrying back to his table. He watched as Kurt texted someone, still looking a little wound up. Hitting send, Kurt put his head down on the table. "Kurt, are you okay?" Blaine called. Kurt looked up and nodded quickly before dashing out of the coffee shop.

"Something's going on," Wes murmured and Blaine nodded. It was then he noticed that Kurt had left his phone behind; Blaine grabbed it and ran out after Kurt.

"Kurt?" Blaine yelled. "Shit," he muttered when no one answered. He looked down at the phone where a new text message was coming through; the sender's ID said "_Sebastian Smythe_". Blaine looked around uneasily before hitting "_view now_".

"_Kurt, it's never over. You can't get away from me that easily, trust me. You know that I will find you and we'll be together forever. XX-Seb_" Blaine pocketed the phone without a second thought and made sure to return it to Kurt the next time he saw him.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N**_: Fortunately for you lot, I already had a complete Chapter 2. If you have any questions about the OC evil exes, I advise you to read the stories I marked in Chapter 1. If anything else is needed, feel free to PM me. And no, I will **NOT** tell you what happens.

* * *

Blaine silently followed Wes, Thad, Nick, and Jeff back to Dalton; he couldn't take his mind off of the beautiful Kurt and the mysterious Sebastian. Once inside the school, he saw a familiar coif of brown hair walking upstairs.

"Kurt!" he yelled, chasing after the boy. The boy turned and blushed.

"Oh, hey, Blaine," he said.

"Kurt, you left your phone behind," Blaine said breathlessly, handing Kurt the phone.

"Did you see the…?" Kurt couldn't finish the sentence after looking at the text.

"I saw the most recent text," Blaine whispered and Kurt exhaled.

"Okay, look, Sebastian is my ex-boyfriend. I'm done with him, but he's just so… He's crazy and he doesn't stop until he gets what he wants. Just please don't get into this, Blaine, you'll get hurt. I don't want anyone else getting hurt because of me," Kurt explained.

"I think I can deal with some baggage. I'm not that great of a romantic, but, hey, what's a relationship without troubles?" Blaine shrugged, and then face-palmed at realizing what he'd just said. "I'm so sorry, Kurt. I shouldn't have said relationship. I wasn't thinking…" Kurt cut him off with a finger to the lips.

"Blaine, stop talking and take a deep breath," he said. Blaine complied and slumped into a nearby chair. "Look, we can go out to dinner, but I really can't have a serious relationship right now."

"But why?" Blaine looked curiously up at Kurt, who heaved a huge sigh.

"I have seven exes, and they intend on keeping me from dating anyone else. You're a nice guy, Blaine. Like I said, I don't want you to get hurt," Kurt clarified.

"Blaine's the founder of our fight club!" a voice yelled from below. Kurt looked over the rail to see a grinning Nick and Jeff.

"That's all well and good, but these people are vicious," Kurt called back. Nick and Jeff scampered upstairs to listen in. Kurt threw up his hands and continued. "They are Luke Graham, Dan Milstead, Derek Reese, Brittany Pierce, Tyler Mitchell, Troy Grant, and Sebastian Smythe. Sebastian is the leader and Brittany's the sole girl of the group."

"You dated a girl?" Nick asked.

"Once; it was about a year and a half ago. I was trying to impress my dad by acting straight, wearing sweater vests and singing Mellencamp in Glee club," Kurt replied.

"You were in Glee club?" Blaine asked and Kurt nodded.

"McKinley's New Directions," he smiled softly at the memory of his friends.

"There are so many things wrong with that name," Nick muttered, earning himself an elbow from Jeff.

"Anyway, Derek doesn't take no for an answer, usually leading to someone getting hit; Dan is a total douchebag; Luke carries a black bag around, which is like his own mini-drugstore; Tyler was a date I went on, but I found out that he has stalkerish tendencies; and Troy did stuff to me."

"What'd he do?" Nick looked curious.

"He raped me," Kurt repeated. "I went to another school before McKinley and I met him there. We went out a few times and he became really possessive of me. One night, he told me he had a surprise for me at school." Kurt's eyes filled with tears at the memory. "He took me into a classroom, bound me to a chair, and raped me."

"Oh my God, Kurt, that's totally fucked up," Blaine whispered.

"And Sebastian, quite frankly, he's the worst of them all," Kurt sniffled, wiping away the tears. "Sebastian Smythe is crafty, evil, and horny as hell. He set up this whole thing so I can't date anyone."

"Sounds like a controllist," Nick remarked.

"Honey, 'controllist' is not a word," Jeff smirked.

"What about the girl, Brittany?" Nick looked at Kurt.

"She's…well…she's dumb as a post, but she's really not the one you have to worry about. The one you have to worry about is Santana Lopez, Brittany's girlfriend. She will and I quote 'go all Lima Heights' on you. She's from the bad part of town and has told us many a tale of her life there." Kurt searched through his phone for a picture of the New Directions and pointed out Brittany and Santana, who were sitting together, pinkies linked.

"I'm willing to take them on if it means I can go out with you," Blaine said with a grin.

"Okay, if that's what you want," Kurt shrugged and took Blaine's hand. This set off an alarm on Sebastian's phone; he had implanted a chip on the side of Kurt's head and it goes off when Kurt has affections for someone other than him.

"Oh, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt," Sebastian said, looking at the phone. "Don't you know that you will never get away from me? I'm here to stay and this boy you like, he'll be history."

* * *

"Blainers, where have you been?" a voice demanded. Blaine had just crept into his dorm and a voice startled him. He spun around to find his roommate Louis sitting up on his bed.

"Met a boy," Blaine mumbled.

"That's great, man." Louis grinned. "Why do you look all down?"

"He's got seven evil exes," he said.

"Seven evil…shit, that's a lot of exes. Are they all guys?" Louis looked a little skeptical.

"One's a girl, five are crazy, and the last one is like mad scientist evil," Blaine explained.

"Well, as your roommate, I'm here to provide moral support," Louis said. "You can do this, Blaine. Beat the exes, get the guy, yada, yada, yada…screw this, I'm going to bed."

"Gee, great moral support, Louis," Blaine grumbled. He sat down on his bed and eventually drifted off into slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Blaine awoke to find his phone vibrating. He smiled when he saw Kurt's name flashing.

"Hi, Kurt," he said excitedly, but was startled to hear a snicker in return.

"Don't you think you're doing enough damage, Blaine Anderson?" the voice said. "Are you seriously thoughtless enough to think you can take me on?"

"Sebastian?" Blaine whispered.

"Bingo," the voice chuckled.

"I really like Kurt," Blaine said. "He's beautiful."

"That's fine, Blaine, but are you willing to risk you and your friends' lives for love?" Sebastian asked. "Give up now and no one gets hurt. I think I'll start with the ones at your school known as 'the 3 6 Mafia'. I saw their Facebook page and how they've gone on and on about Blaine and Kurt, Kurt and Blaine, blah, blah, blah."

"Don't you dare hurt Nick and Jeff," Blaine hissed. "Or I'll…"

"Or you'll what? What are you going to do, huh1? I have more power than you'll ever know. I'm a nice guy, but one's niceness can only go so far," Sebastian sneered. "Well, it seems like my advice isn't going to get through, so expect some company soon. Bye, Blaine."

Blaine looked down at the phone and exhaled. He got up and dressed, and headed downstairs where Nick and Jeff immediately bombarded him with questions.

"Where's Kurt?"

"Are you really going to fight his exes?"

"We should have another fight club."

"We're not supposed to talk about it, Nicky."

"Quiet, Jeff."

"But those are the rules."

"Well, you're talking about it right now."

"Anyway, Blaine, what are you going to do?"

"Why aren't you answering?"

"Did we do something?"

"Guys, please, not now," Blaine sighed and sat down between Thad and Wes.

"Dude, we heard about Kurt," Thad said. "Does he really have seven evil exes?" Blaine nodded. "Damn, is he a virgin?" Blaine glared at Thad, who raised an eyebrow and sat back, trying to contain a smirk.

"Speak of the devil," Wes muttered as Kurt walked into the room.

"Blaine, can I talk to you?" he asked softly. Blaine nodded and followed Kurt into the main hall. "I know Sebastian called you. What did he say?"

"He said that he's going to target my friends if I don't give up, starting with Nick and Jeff," Blaine replied, looking at the floor. Kurt took a deep breath and ran a hand over his face.

"Blaine, I know you really like me, okay? It's just that if you got hurt, I wouldn't be able to live with that guilt," Kurt reasoned, but Blaine took his hand.

"I will do anything to be with you," he promised.

"If you insist, but I'm sure Sebastian sent one of them now," Kurt said.

Standing right outside the nearby open window was a black-haired boy who frowned, seeing this act of public affection. He shook his head, watching the short curly-haired boy kiss Kurt on the cheek.

"Oh, Kurt, you'll regret the day you broke up with me for that psycho douchebag, and as for your Hobbit, he's done for," he said. The boy pulled a straw and a dart from his bag and aimed for the boy. Blaine looked up in time to dodge out of the way of the incoming dart.

"Shit," the boy cursed. Kurt pulled the dart out of the wall it struck and examined it.

"Oh crap," Kurt muttered, looking up. "Luke."

* * *

_**A/N**_: Sorry for the short chapter, but thus I introduce Kurt's first evil ex-boyfriend.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N**_: Okay, here's where the story's gonna get a little nuts, but go with it.

* * *

"Hello, Kurt," a voice said in the doorway. Kurt turned to see Luke standing there, a smirk on his face.

"Luke, why are you here?" Kurt asked, although he already knew why.

"I missed you and a friend of yours told me where you were," Luke replied, walking towards Kurt. "I'm sure you remember Sebastian? You two just broke up, right?" Then, noticing Blaine, Luke's smirk got wider. "So this is Blaine, huh?"

"Yes," Blaine said stiffly. "And you're Luke, Kurt's first evil ex-boyfriend."

"I wouldn't say evil, maybe a little crazy, sure, but not evil." Luke raised an eyebrow. "Why don't we sit and talk for a while, get to know each other?" Seeing the look in Blaine's eyes, he sighed. "Look, I'm not a violent person, okay? I am not here to fight you." Luke rooted through his bag and handed Kurt and Blaine each a water bottle. "I swear to God I didn't poison them."

"He's so nice, it's all a hoax," Nick whispered to Jeff; the two were hiding upstairs.

"You two," Luke called, pointing at Nick and Jeff. "Come on down."

"You're extraordinarily more social than you used to be," Kurt remarked, sitting down on a couch in the rehearsal room. Nick and Jeff came down, looking a little unnerved by Luke's presence and sat as far away from the boy as they could.

"Well, I went to an all-boys school out of state and it helped me become more communal," Luke explained, pulling a beer from his bag.

"You're too young to drink," Nick said nervously.

"Says who?" Luke shrugged, popping it open. "I'm 17, I'm entitled to something. So you two, spill, how did you meet?"

"I met Kurt at the coffee shop. I just saw him, he's beautiful," Blaine said shortly.

"How sweet," Luke said without a hint of sarcasm. "By the way, I was never properly thanked by a certain young man for being the only person to remember his 16th birthday."

"Thank you, Luke," Kurt said, pressing two fingers to his head.

"By the way, Kurt, why did I have to come all this way to find you?" Luke asked, crossing his legs. "I went to McKinley and I was told by that ditzy blonde that you transferred here. She was the only one who would tell me anything."

"Damn it, Brittany," Kurt grumbled.

"Hey, if you didn't want to fight, then why did you shoot a dart at me?" Blaine demanded.

"I thought it'd make things easier…for me, of course," Luke said.

"And we're back to the good-old chloroform needle?" Kurt asked, holding up the dart.

"Hey, best thing I've got for that in here," he replied, patting his bag.

"What else is in there?" Jeff asked.

"Oh, you know, magazines, more beer for me, water bottles, aspirins, my meds, syringes, the works," he said.

"You're on medication?" Nick asked, earning an elbow from Jeff.

"You don't ask people that," Jeff hissed.

"Boys, it's fine. It's just Prozac." Luke waved a hand.

"Blaine, be nice," Kurt ordered in a whisper. "Just go with the flow."

"Does your new beau still want to fight?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, but he's fine," Kurt said before Blaine could open his mouth.

"If he wants to, I'm game. This'll be easy anyway," he said, standing up.

* * *

Blaine stood stock-still in the middle of the room as Luke took his sweet time getting ready.

"Why are you taking so long?" Blaine demanded.

"I haven't beaten the crap out of someone in nine months, okay?" Luke snapped. He moved towards Blaine with a grin. "Start whenever you're ready."

Blaine lunged and threw a punch at the boy, who ducked and circled behind Blaine, wrapping the shorter boy in a half nelson. Luke dug into his pocket and pulled out a syringe.

"Hey, that's cheating!" Jeff shouted.

"No one ever said I couldn't," Luke sneered. Kurt and Nick had to restrain Jeff from intervening. Luke prepared to plunge the needle into Blaine's neck when he felt his feet slip from under him.

"Go, Blaine!" Nick cheered. Blaine straddled Luke and began pummeling the hell out of him.

"Damn, your fight club _does_ do a lot of damage," Kurt observed. Luke was visibly unharmed as each of Blaine's punches landed.

"Why isn't Luke injured?" Jeff asked.

"There's actually a funny thing about that," Kurt said, turning red.

"Blaine, catch!" A new voice called out. Blaine looked up and caught a sword thrown to him by Louis. As Blaine began to swing at Luke, he called back to Louis.

"Where did you get this?" he yelled.

"On eBay, it was like ten bucks," Louis replied. Blaine swung for Luke's head and decapitated the boy, but instead of blood spurting out, coins flew out.

"Oh my…," Blaine said, his jaw dropping as coins fell all over the room.

"Holy fucking shit!" Nick and Jeff exclaimed at the same time.

"Yeah, I kinda forgot to tell you about that," Kurt said sheepishly. Blaine looked at Kurt in wonder. Kurt merely shrugged.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N**_: Ooh, you lot are going to hate me after this chapter.

* * *

"Holy crap, Kurt, your exes explode into coins?" Nick and Jeff chased after the blushing brunet after collecting the coins. "It's not only that, but into ten bucks?" Blaine followed behind them slowly.

"Look, guys," Kurt said, turning around and facing the hyperactive Warblers, "there's this…okay, a lot of my exes weren't entirely human, you see. I didn't find out until later, but…"

Kurt faltered and sighed.

"One down, six to go, right?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, except Blaine, you're really in for it come number four," Kurt said.

"Oh, the Latina from Lima Heights?" he asked. Kurt nodded. "I don't know if I can fight a girl."

"Well, you'd better, 'cause, trust me, she carries razor blades in her hair," Kurt warned.

"Can I take you on a date, Kurt?" Blaine asked hopefully. Kurt bit his lip and seemed to mull it over.

"Sure," he agreed.

* * *

That night, Blaine took Kurt to a fancy restaurant just within the limits of Westerville. The two were enjoying their evening when Blaine heard a crash and yelling; he looked up to see Kurt flinch violently.

"Oh Gaga, no," Kurt whispered. "No, not here, please, no, not here."

"I'm just looking for someone!" one of the voices yelled. "No need to get your panties in a bunch."

"Evil ex?" Blaine guessed.

"Dan," Kurt said. A tall brunet burst through the kitchen doors and glanced around; his eyes landed on Kurt and he grinned, sauntering over.

"Kurt Hummel, it's so nice to see you. Are you here with a date?" Dan asked politely. Kurt looked up and nodded. "I'm Dan." Blaine accepted the handshake

"Dan, what are you doing here?" Blaine looked at Kurt, who was trying to keep his breathing steady.

"Can't I come visit my ex-boyfriend? I missed you," Dan shrugged. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened with Jesse St. Jackoff, but I dumped his sorry butt…again. I really just came to apologize for that, but now I see you've moved on to…whatever this is." He waved a hand as if Blaine wasn't there.

"I'm sitting right here," Blaine said through clenched teeth.

"Yeah, sure you are." Dan pulled up a chair and sat between Kurt and Blaine. "So, Kurt, why'd you transfer from McKinley?"

"You know why," Kurt mumbled, looking at the table.

"Fine, I know about your whole little Glee club incident, but you know, what's past is past," he replied.

"It was your fault," Kurt said, glaring at Dan.

"Excuse me, not just me. There are six other people to blame for that, and of course, you," he said, "for leading us all on."

"I did not lead you on. I told you we were over," Kurt hissed. "You went back to that creepy bastard St. Sucks."

"I think it's time for you to leave," Blaine snapped.

"Really? Well, _Blaine_, if only you could make me," Dan sneered.

Blaine pushed himself back and stood up. "Anytime you want to," he said.

"Blaine, please, not now," Kurt pleaded. "You already dealt with this today."

"Oh yeah, I heard about what happened with Graham," Dan said, standing up. "Well, let me just say, I'm not as fragile as that little prick. Shall we leave these nice people to their meal and go somewhere more private?"

"Where?" Blaine asked.

* * *

"What is this place?" Blaine looked around the abandoned warehouse.

"It used to be a science lab for experimenting on convicts back in the '70s," Dan explained. "Kurt, can you come here for a minute?"

As Blaine explored the building, Dan had Kurt all hooked up and ready. When Blaine finally turned, he stumbled backwards in shock.

"What-what are you doing?" he yelled. Dan had plugged electrodes into Kurt's arms and legs.

"If you beat me, you can save him. If not, say goodbye to Kurt, Blaine," Dan grinned evilly.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N**_: A lot of this chapter dabbles in pop culture references. I'm actually also reading the book mentioned below. If anyone can note the reference to the comic/film _Kick-Ass_, metaphorical cookie for you.

* * *

"Please, Dan, don't do this. You're better than this," Kurt pleaded.

"Kurt, you didn't tell me that he's fucking crazy," Blaine said weakly, tears forming in his eyes.

"I may have neglected to mention that, but I don't remember him being so nuts," Kurt shrugged. "I just remember lots of nights that ended with me leaving Dan."

"Hey, don't make me duct tape your mouth shut," Dan barked. "Besides, I could've put those electrodes somewhere else, and then you two would never be completely happy, capiche?"

"Are you reading comics and watching movies for torture ideas again?" Kurt asked while struggling.

"Quiet!" he ordered.

"He's one of those impressionable people?" Blaine asked, wiping his tears.

"Yep, one time he read _Twilight_ fanfiction…oh, that was a night I'll never forget," Kurt reminisced. "You know, it's a book now."

"Yeah, I'm reading it." Dan held up a copy of _Fifty Shades of Grey_ from the table next to him.

"You would be," Kurt muttered.

"Kurt, shut the fuck up," Dan snapped. "Now, Blaine," he said, retaining a calm demeanor. "Shall we?"

"You're not going to get away with this," Blaine hissed.

"I cannot believe how many times I've heard that," Dan scoffed before launching a kick for Blaine's chest. Blaine sidestepped him and caught Dan's leg, flipping the brunet over, and Blaine punched Dan in the face. Dan landed swiftly on his feet and wiped his nose, taking a breath.

"So he _can_ fight. That proves they lied to me," he muttered and began throwing an array of punches at Blaine, most of which the short boy dodged, but he took one in the gut, making him double over, wheezing.

"You punch like a girl," Blaine spat. Dan raised an eyebrow and punched Blaine in the face, knocking him backwards.

"Does that feel like a girl?" Dan jeered. "You're not important, Anderson. You're nothing. And as for Kurt, you don't deserve him. He deserves someone like me."

"You, who's as violent sexual deviant as Charlotte Gainsbourg in that _Antichrist_ movie," Blaine said. Dan looked surprised by this comparison.

"Damn, I didn't know anyone else who _actually_ watched that movie," he said, looking put off for a second; Blaine took the chance and pulled out the sword. "Okay, I see where we're going with this." And with that, Dan pulled out a samurai sword. "Yeah, I can play _Kill Bill_ too. Hattori Hanzō, bitch. I found it on eBay, it's real but it was also a prop."

"Let's do this." Blaine gritted his teeth and charged forwards.

* * *

About five minutes later, Blaine and Dan were locked between swords.

"You're good, but I'm better," Dan said.

"True, I haven't had enough experience with this, but I'm still going to beat you," Blaine retorted.

"Pfft, yeah, sure," Dan derided. Blaine knocked the sword from Dan's hands and pointed the tip at his throat.

"Give me one reason not to cut you," Blaine said.

"I'm a nice enough guy?" Dan guessed.

"Wrong." Blaine shoved the blade through Dan's neck. Dan shut his eyes and what happened next no one expected: Dan imploded into dust.

"There's never blood. Why is there never blood?" Blaine asked once the dust had cleared. "Kurt!" He snapped back to reality and hurried over to unplug Kurt.

"Thank you," Kurt said once free of his binds. "Those things were starting to dig into my perfect skin." He smiled radiantly and Blaine took his hand.

"Are you okay?" he said.

He nodded. "Thank you again for getting rid of…" and was cut off by Blaine's lips on his.

"I love you," Blaine whispered after their lips parted.

"I-I…," Kurt stuttered.

"You don't have to say it if you don't want to," Blaine assured him. Kurt looked up at Blaine, his eyes wide with curiosity.

"I love you, Blaine," he said softly and wrapped his arms around the shorter boy.

* * *

"That boy will be the death of me," Sebastian said, watching Kurt and Blaine's embrace from his lair. "I will not let this happen. I can't believe he defeated two in one day!" Sebastian grabbed one of his glass figures and chucked it against the wall. "Derek!" he yelled.

A tall, dark blond boy hurried into the room and bowed in front of Sebastian. "Yes, sir?" he asked, saluting.

"It's your time, Derek. You know the plan," Sebastian said, his voice quaking with anger. "Destroy Blaine Anderson and bring me Kurt Hummel. Just remember what Hummel did to you, outing you as a pedophile, making you lose Harmony."

"I remember," Derek said scathingly; the memories were going through his head.

"Now go and do not come back without Hummel," Sebastian ordered. Derek nodded and rushed out of the room as he heard another figure smash.


	7. Chapter 7

"So who's next?" Blaine asked as he and Kurt drove back to Dalton.

"Derek, who is pretty bad as opposed to Dan," Kurt replied.

"Is he a psycho?" Blaine raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, he is. He said he'd get me back for what I did," Kurt said.

"What did you do?"

"He turned out to be a pedophile, and I told some people and it got out to others, which made his girlfriend break up with him and his parents sent to the nuthouse, so he just got out and this surely will not end well," Kurt explained.

"I can take him," Blaine said, squeezing Kurt's hand.

"I know you can." Kurt squeezed back. The two walked into the building to find rehearsing Warblers.

"Blaine, where have you been? Our lead is not present during rehearsal? That's so rich," Kyle said, rushing over to them.

"Sectionals are in a week, our competition is stiff, and we need to be perfect," Wes said firmly, tapping his gavel in one hand. "We found some videos online and we're facing McKinley's New Directions and the Hipsters from some elderly continuing school or something."

"Wait, the New Directions?" Kurt paled at the name. Blaine suddenly remembered that they were Kurt's old Glee club.

"Didn't you say you were a countertenor?" Nick asked Kurt, who nodded. "We need your voice, yours and Blaine's. This is the only way we're going to win."

"I don't know," he mumbled.

"Please, Kurt, we need this." Jeff ran over and put a hand on the brunet's shoulder.

"Brittany and Santana will be there, I don't want to start a fight there," Kurt said, with a hand over his mouth.

"We won't instigate anything, just Kurt, please." Nick and Jeff got on their knees and begged.

"Okay, where should I start?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Derek had found Dalton Academy and started for the front door when someone else exited. He ducked behind a parked car and peered out to see Nick and Jeff hurrying off together.

"Sebastian, come in," Derek whispered into a walkie-talkie.

"What is it?" the voice demanded.

"Those guys you mentioned, the 3 6 Mafia, what do they look like?" he asked.

"Their names are Nick and Jeff; Nick is a brunet and Jeff is a blond," Sebastian replied.

"Found them," Derek grinned. He got up and walked towards the two, who were cuddling under a tree.

"Are you guys Nick and Jeff?" he asked. The boys looked at each other and back at Derek. Nick nodded.

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Nick asked.

"I was on Facebook and I came across your page. The 3 6 Mafia, how did you get the name?"

"Oh, it's just we're boyfriends and we've auditioned for competition solos. I had three auditions and Jeff had six, and it pretty much became a thing for us," Jeff explained, clutching Nick's hand.

"That's so sweet," Derek said. "Can I get a picture of you guys?" The two nodded and posed. Derek pulled out a camera and took it; the flash made Nick and Jeff dizzy, giving Derek enough time to place paper bags over their heads; he proceeded to haul the two into the back of his van.

"Kurt will be mine soon enough," he said to himself.

* * *

"Where the hell are Nick and Jeff?" Wes demanded. "When I find them, Darla will have something to say to them."

"Darla?" Kurt looked confused as he turned to Blaine.

"Wes is in love with that gavel; he even named it," Blaine replied.

"Darla is a _she_, Blaine!" Wes yelled.

"Okay, sorry. He even named _her_," Blaine apologized. Kurt shook his head and stood up. He knew Nick and Jeff went outside to make out. Walking down the stairs, the usually familiar sounds of Nick and Jeff's sweet nothings were silent. He went to the tree he knew they sat at and found a ripped piece of blazer.

"Oh no," he muttered, and he spotted a lock of dark blond hair. "Oh shit, Derek. He got them."

* * *

"Where am I?" Jeff asked, coming to. "Nicky, where are you?"

"I'm right next to you, Jeffy," he said. Jeff shook his head hard enough for the paper bag to fly off.

"Welcome, boys," a voice said. Nick and Jeff looked up to see a smirking Derek.

"What do you want with us?" Jeff asked nervously.

"I need you to lure in Kurt and Blaine," Derek explained.

"You're the third evil ex," Nick realized.

"Evil is such a strong word," Derek said. "I'm more unstable than anything else."

"Let us go!" Jeff yelled.

"I don't think so. Kurt and Blaine will come looking for you and then I can do away with Blaine and take Kurt back to my boss," Derek said.

"We're going to be fine, Jeffy, I promise," Nick whispered.


	8. Chapter 8

"Blaine, they're gone," Kurt whispered after hurrying back into the building. "I found this," he held up the piece of blazer, "and this, a lock of Derek's hair, because it doesn't look like Nick or Jeff's."

"Sebastian said he'd go after them." Blaine bit his lip. "We have to get them back."

"Kurt, Blaine, where are you going?" Wes demanded.

"We're going to go find Nick and Jeff," Kurt replied, pulling a jacket on.

"Damn it, why do those two always take off when we need them?" Thad rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Where do you think Derek took them?" Blaine asked Kurt as the two got out to Kurt's Navigator.

"I don't know. He could be anywhere," Kurt said. "But there is one place we could try."

* * *

"Nicky, I'm scared," Jeff whispered as the two sat in the darkness.

"We're going to be okay. You know Blaine, he'll beat the bad guy and save us," Nick assured.

"Not so sure that's going to happen, boys," Derek sneered, flipping on the light. "You see, I know Kurt and Blaine are on their way here, and Blaine's going to get a big surprise. However, I don't _know_ if you two are going to make it out alive."

"Wait, what?" Jeff asked.

"The nice place you see around you is going to burn to the ground. The only way you two are getting out is if Blaine can get to you in time," Derek explained.

"What did Kurt do to you to make you all nuts like this?" Nick asked, bravado taking over.

"Do you really want to know what Hummel did? He made me a laughingstock, a joke, a psycho. My parents disowned me, my girlfriend broke up with me, and I was sent to a psychiatric institution, that's what he did," Derek snapped, grabbing Nick by the hair and yanking his head back.

"But why?" Jeff asked, struggling to help Nick.

"Shut up!" he yelled, clamping a hand over Jeff's mouth.

"Let them go," Blaine said. Derek spun around to see Blaine and Kurt standing in the doorway.

"Perfect," Derek grinned.

* * *

"Well, well, well, Kurt Hummel, it's been so long since we last met," Derek said, walking towards them.

"And it seems like you're still a perverted freak," Kurt snapped. Derek's grin slipped a notch but he remained calm as he stopped in front of Kurt.

"Oh, Kurt, still a snarky bitch, I see," he said. Blaine had taken this chance to go over to Nick and Jeff, but Derek spun around and pressed a button. A shock sent Blaine backwards against the wall. "Good luck saving them, Blaine. The whole room is wired, so if you try and unbind them, you'll get shocked."

"Wait, I remember now," Nick realized, looking at Derek. "You're that psycho pedophile who tried to spy on the McKinley Glee club."

"That's right, Nick," Kurt said, nodding. "Derek here was jerking off in the boys' room to underage oral sex on his phone."

"Hummel, shut your goddamn mouth," Derek yelled and pulled back to slap the taller brunet, but Kurt caught his arm.

"You may still be a vile physically-abusive douchebag, but I've been training too," he said, bending Derek's wrist back. With his other hand, Kurt snatched the control from Derek's hand and flipped to the off switch. "Go ahead, Blaine." Blaine cautiously approached Nick and Jeff and was able to relieve them of their chains.

"Kurt? Derek said that the place would be burning down," Jeff said.

"Nick, Jeff, get out now. Blaine, if you don't mind helping me?" Nick and Jeff stood and watched as Kurt and Blaine connected Derek to his own chamber. An explosion above them was a warning to get out.

"You'll regret this, Hummel!" Derek screamed over the falling debris.

"Bye, Derek, it was nice knowing you." Kurt smirked as he hauled Blaine out of the building. The four boys watched as it came down, Derek's screaming audible during the collapse.

* * *

"_Make us worthy_

_ Make us proud_

_ Teach us not to be too loud_

_ We'll try and fit in with the crowd_

_ But we are of Dalton_,"

Nick and Jeff sang. As soon as Kurt, Blaine, Nick, and Jeff returned and regaled the Warblers in what happened, the four took the chance to sing.

"_We can't fake the way we feel_

_ We were born to keep it real_

_ Matching harmonies and balls of steel_

_ We are of Dalton_

"_You bite us, we'll bite you back_

_ Better be scared when we attack_

_ Feel the fear, we're maniacs_

_ Dalton_

"_Check out the battle cry_

_ This song's to terrify_

_ No one can stand in our way_

_ We are the best, so screw the rest_

_ We do as we damn well please_

_ Until the end_

_ Dalton_

_ Defenders of anarchy_,"

Kurt, Blaine, Nick, and Jeff sang together. The boys cheered afterwards.

* * *

"I can't believe this, they're singing about being maniacs," Sebastian mused, watching the performance through a camera he'd had installed at the school. He pulled out his walkie-talkie. "Derek, come in. Derek, are you there?" No answer. "Goddamn it," he grumbled, turning his monitor to the building. "Oh. My. God," Sebastian's mouth dropped open in shock at the sight of the rubble.

"Mr. Smythe, Derek's dead," an intern reported, running into the room.

"I can see that, Jonathan," Sebastian said, staring at the screen.

"Uh, sir, my name's Chandler," the intern said.

"Whatever, just get back to your job," Sebastian ordered. "And get Brittany and Santana in here!"

"Yes, sir," Chandler said, hurrying back out.

"What is it, Sir Fievel?" Santana Lopez walked into the room, her black ponytail bouncing behind her.

"Shqueera, not the time for names," Sebastian snapped. "Hummel's taken out Graham, Milstead, and Reese, and your girlfriend's next."

"No freaking way Porcelain's taking this from me," Santana said, clutching the blonde's hand.

"That means you know what to do?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

"You bet your meerkat face I do," Santana smirked.


	9. Chapter 9

"Boys, we are going to win Sectionals, right?" Wes asked as Mr. O'Malley drove the van to Sectionals. The question was answered with cheers, but Kurt sat in the back, contemplating his planned duet with Blaine.

"Kurt, are you okay?" Nick asked, moving over Jeff to sit next to the brunet.

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks, Nick," Kurt said with a small smile.

"Can I just say again how much Nick and I love you for saving us?" Jeff said, grinning widely.

"I heard you the first 63 times, you're welcome, and I love you too." Kurt grinned back.

"Kurt, you and Blaine are going to kick ass," Jeff assured him. "You guys have been working on that duet nonstop for 3 days. You'll kill it."

* * *

"From Westerville, the Dalton Academy Warblers!" the announcer said; the curtain opened to reveal Kurt and Blaine backed by the Warblers. Kurt could hear the extra-loud cheers from the New Directions. The Warblers began doing background vocals.

"(_Clatter, crash, clack_

_ Racket, bang, thump_

_ Rattle, clang, crack, thud, whack, bam!_)

(_Clatter, crash, clack_

_ Racket, bang, thump_

_ Rattle, clang, crack, thud, whack, bam!_)

_ It's music_

_ Now dance_

"_Listen, Cvalda_

_ You're the dancer_

_ You got the sparkle_

_ In your eyes_

_ Look at me, entrancer_

(_Clatter, crash, clack_

_ Racket, bang, thump_

_ Rattle, clang, crack, thud, whack, bam!_)

"_It's the clatter machines_

_ They greet you and say_

_ We tap out a rhythm_

_ And sweep you away_

_ A clatter machine_

_ What a magical sound_

_ A room full of noises_

_ That spins you around_,"

Kurt sang. He moved towards Blaine and urged him to sing.

"_Darling, Selma_

_ Look who's dancing_

_ Faster than a_

_ Shooting star_

_ Cvalda's here_

_ Cvalda sings_

(_Clatter, crash, clack_

_ Racket, bang, thump_

_ Rattle, clang, crack, thud, whack, bam!_)

The two voices came together:

"_It's the clatter machines_

_ They greet you and say_

_ We tap out a rhythm_

_ And sweep you away_

_ A clatter machine_

_ What a magical sound_

_ A room full of noises_

_ That spins us around_

_ That spins us around_

_ It spins us around_."

The audience applauded as Kurt and Blaine finished their song. Kurt moved backward and joined the line of Warblers as Blaine sang "_The Power of Love_", which immediately induced the audience's clapping.

* * *

Kurt held Blaine's hand while watching Sam and Quinn move down the aisle singing "_(I've Had) The Time of My Life_". When Sam passed him, he could've sworn the blond smiled at him.

"They're good, don't you think?" Nick whispered to Jeff.

"Not as good as us, especially while _we_ have _their_ countertenor," Jeff whispered back.

"Ooh, look, there they are." Nick pointed to Brittany and Santana, whose hands were joined as the curtain opened. The song ended to applause, and then Santana stepped forward and began to sing "_Valerie_".

The Warblers watched in awe as Mike and Brittany tore up the stage with their dancing.

"Okay, we're screwed," Kyle said to the murmured agreements of the others.

"Kyle, shut up. You'll jinx it!" Thad snapped.

* * *

After everyone performed, the Warblers, the New Directions, and the Hipsters were positioned onstage, waiting with bated breath for the results.

"In third place, from Fort Wayne, Indiana, the Hipsters," the announcer said. A tall man with a receding hairline accepted the trophy. "And now, first place goes to…"

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," Nick muttered under his breath.

"It's a tie!" Nick, Jeff, Kurt, and Blaine all looked up in shock, as did Finn, Rachel, Sam, and Quinn. "The New Directions and the Warblers, you will both move on to Regionals!"

"Holy crap!" Nick jumped into Jeff's arms in excitement. Santana was openly glaring at Blaine, who was hugging Kurt.

"Blaine, look behind you!" Nick and Jeff warned at the same time, but Blaine fell forward under the force of the Latina's blow.

"What the…?" he asked, looking up. Santana stood over him, eyes filled with rage and jealousy.

"Hobbit, you and Porcelain ain't taking Britt anywhere," she snapped, preparing to throw another punch, but Nick and Jeff got in front of Blaine.

"Guys, please not again!" Kurt said, trying to pull them back.

"Kurt, we got this," they said, but Wes and David moved forward and dragged them away.

"Now is not the time, Satan," Kurt said.

"Now's the perfect time," she replied, smirking and going for Blaine again, but Kurt stepped in front of him.

"You will not touch him," Kurt hissed. "I'm not afraid to hit a girl, _especially_ one that goes after my boyfriend."

"Bring it on," she challenged. The audience including the Hipsters, Warblers, and remaining New Directions watched in astonishment as Kurt and Santana traded blows and dodged one another.

"The only one who can truly defeat this is _him_," Santana said, pointing to Blaine.

"But I can't hit a girl," Blaine replied.

"You're going to have to," Kurt said, getting behind Blaine and taking control of his arms. The fight continued and Kurt suddenly remembered something Brittany had told him.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

"Why aren't you going all flail-ly?" Brittany asked as the two made out.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt looked at the blonde.

"Santana always gets flail-ly when I do this," she said, flicking Kurt's left nipple.

"Okay, Britt, you're going to have to stay away from there. You're not getting that far," Kurt said, turning red at the contact.

**END FLASHBACK**

* * *

"Blaine, I never thought I'd have to ask you to do this, but…," Kurt whispered, "you have to flick her left breast."

"WHAT?"

"Do you want this to be over or not?" Kurt retorted. Blaine flushed with embarrassment as he moved forward and flicked Santana's left breast.

"How did you know…?" she demanded before she began to spin faster and faster before exploding into coins, showering the audience.

"Whoa, Santana was made of coins?" Finn asked and Kurt face-palmed.

* * *

_**A/N**_: The song Kurt and Blaine sing is "_Cvalda_" from the Björk musical _Dancer in the Dark_. "_The Power of Love_" is supposed to be the Huey Lewis version. The next chapter will reveal why Kurt transferred to Dalton.


	10. Chapter 10

"I love you, Kurt," Blaine whispered as the two lay in bed together.

"I love you too, Blaine," Kurt replied, kissing Blaine on the forehead. "Nothing is ever going to break us up."

"Klaine!" The door burst open and Nick and Jeff jumped onto the bed.

"Get out of here!" Blaine ordered. "Why do you two always ruin the moment?"

"We're bored so we figured to hang out with you guys. But since you don't love us anymore…," Nick said, pouting. Kurt threw the covers off.

"There goes our snuggling moment," he grumbled.

"Hey, Kurt, why did you transfer here?" Jeff asked. Kurt walked over to the window and sighed.

"Do you really want to know?" he said softly. Nick, Jeff, and Blaine all nodded and said "Yes."

"Okay, it started out like this…"

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

It was the first day of school at McKinley High and Kurt headed for the choir room for the first Glee club meeting of the year. Already there were Finn, Rachel, Quinn, Tina, Artie, Puck, and Mike; everyone else was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is everyone?" he asked.

"This is all we have left," Artie explained.

"Hey, guys—," Mr. Schuester said, walking into the room and stopping short. "Is this it?"

"Yeah," Rachel replied. "I don't know what happened, but it's just the eight of us."

"In that case, let's get recruiting," Mr. Schue said enthusiastically.

* * *

A few days later, the same Glee club that ended the previous year were all in the choir room once again. Santana and Brittany had turned back to the Cheerios full-time and it turned out Mercedes was still on vacation with her parents. And there were a few new members as well: foreign exchange student Sunshine Corazon and football player Sam Evans.

It was a normal Glee club when a knock came at the door and six people entered the room. Kurt slunk down in his chair upon recognizing them.

"Um, hi, are you looking to audition?" Rachel asked.

"No, we're not. We're here for someone," the tall brunet in front said. "He's right there," he said, pointing at Kurt. Everyone turned in their chairs to look at him.

"Kurt, do you know these guys?" Finn asked. Kurt nodded without a word.

"What are you all doing here?" he demanded.

"Don't mess with me, Hummel. You know what we want," Sebastian said with a smirk. "Everyone, your precious Kurt Hummel is nothing but a whore." Kurt blanched at this but stood his ground.

"I have no idea what he's talking about," he told the club, who were watching him with confused looks.

"Really? Well, I happen to have here some photos of you and all of these young men in rather provocative positions." Sebastian held up an envelope. Kurt stood up and tried to pull the envelope from his hand, but Sebastian held it out of reach.

"You led us all on, Kurt. And all I asked for was one date," Tyler said, stepping out of the line.

"Yes, but you're a stalker," Kurt retorted. "You followed me around for three weeks before I filed a restraining order."

"You told me you loved me, but you were fooling around with him," Luke said, nudging Dan.

"And you said you loved _me_, and I find you with Derek," Dan continued.

"I told you all it was over!" Kurt raised his voice. "But none of you seemed to listen!"

"You're a slut, Hummel," Troy quipped.

"You're one to talk!" Kurt snapped. "Who wants to know the truth of what _this one_ did to me? He raped me!" The Glee club looked shocked at this announcement, and Kurt leaned against the piano.

"Before I came here, I went to another high school where I treated exactly the same as I am here, if not more so," he explained. "Troy was the only out guy there and we became friends, and soon enough, he became my boyfriend. We spent all our time together, and then one night, he…" Kurt took a deep breath. "He told me he had a surprise for me at school. I was so naïve that I believed him. I followed him and he tied me to a chair, and he raped me. I never told anyone, but I transferred here the next week." Tears were streaming down his face.

"Kurt, you never…," Mercedes started to say but she closed her mouth.

"No," he answered softly. "But you were the worst, Sebastian," Kurt said, looking at the smirking brunet. "Everything you did erases everyone else's doings, even Troy's."

"Me? What did I do that's so awful?" Sebastian sneered, putting on a fake innocence.

"You are the most vile, disgusting human being I have ever met," Kurt hissed. "Sebastian Smythe, you made me feel like nothing, so much I wanted to just kill myself. And maybe I should have!"

"What exactly did he do?" Sam asked. Kurt spun around and glared at the blond, who was wise enough to look away.

"He abused me, like Joan Crawford supposedly did to her daughter. He beat me with almost every word I said. Everything I did was never good enough for him. The smallest mistake brought on those nights of pure horror I daren't repeat."

"You mean the nights you loved because I'm a top?" Sebastian asked. Kurt contained the urge to slap him. "Everyone, as Kurt once called me, I am a sadistic bastard."

"He has this whole room of his house filled with sex toys," Kurt explained. "He made me sign a contract which entailed that I never repeated anything, but I can do it now. I destroyed that contract."

"Hey, Cinderlesbo," Sebastian called to Santana, who glared at him. "Did you know Hummel fooled around with your girlfriend?"

"Porcelain, is he speaking the truth?" Santana demanded, looking at Kurt in disbelief.

"Remember last year when I went through that straight phase? I was the only guy Britt didn't make out with, so…"

"I'm with him on this," Santana declared and joined the line of boys.

"Well, Hummel, you want me back?" Sebastian asked.

"Never," he snarled.

"Okay then." Sebastian winked and pulled out a controller.

"Everybody get out now!" Kurt yelled and the Glee club made a break for it before the choir room exploded.

* * *

"I want to transfer to Dalton. They have a zero-tolerance bullying policy," Kurt explained to Burt and Carole that night. "I can't stand the bullying anymore."

"Okay, Kurt, if that's what you want," Burt promised, putting a hand on his son's shoulder.

**END FLASHBACK**

* * *

"Wow, so they were all just crazy?" Jeff asked. Kurt nodded and wiped his eyes.

"I promise you, Kurt, that won't happen here," Blaine said, massaging Kurt's shoulders.

"So Tyler's the next evil ex?" Nick looked up from having his hair stroked by Jeff.

"It would seem like it," Jeff muttered, not wanting to further upset Kurt.

"We'll always be here for you, Kurt, whether you like it or not," Nick said, sitting up and wrapping an arm around Kurt.

"Thank you," Kurt whispered. Jeff curled himself around Nick and Kurt. Blaine smiled at the two affectionate Warblers and joined them.

* * *

_**A/N**_: Tyler is the only evil ex who presently does not have a complete backstory supplied by me, but the character was a one-off character created in "_Teenage Suicide: Don't Do It_" and he was mostly based on Cameron Mitchell.


	11. Chapter 11

"Tyler, I never fully understood what exactly Hummel did to you," Sebastian said; he was pacing his lair and Tyler sat in what Sebastian referred to as the "love seat".

"I asked him out on a date and it seemed to go fine, but he never talked to me afterwards, so I followed him around and Kurt eventually filed a restraining order. I'm supposedly not to go within one hundred feet of him," Tyler explained.

"I'm sure you know that Hummel has moved on and is now dating a short, curly-haired soloist?" Sebastian pulled a picture of Blaine up on his computer. "And that this Hobbit has taken out Luke, Dan, Derek, and Santana, and you're next."

"I'll do it," Tyler agreed and Sebastian smirked.

* * *

Kurt and Blaine held hands during breakfast and trading kisses as Wes and David made fake gagging noises into their bowls. Nick and Jeff, watching this spectacle, decided to join in and began making out in front of everyone.

"God, you two are like a married couple who just can't get enough." Thad pulled them apart. "At least have the decency to make out when we're not here."

"Shut up, Thad," Nick said, pushing the taller boy away and enamoring himself in Jeff once more. "I love you, Jeffy," he whispered into Jeff's neck.

"Oh, God, let's get out of here." Louis stood up, disposed of his food, and left, quickly followed by Wes, David, Thad, and Kyle. Soon enough, everyone else had left, leaving Kurt, Blaine, Nick, and Jeff alone in the cafeteria.

"Now it's no fun," Nick grumbled.

"It can be fun," a voice said.

"Oh crap, not now," Kurt muttered.

"Yes, Kurt, it's me. Here's the restraining order you filed against me, by the way." The piece of paper slid across the floor in front of Kurt. _Tyler Roth Mitchell's order to stay at least 100 feet from Kurt Elizabeth Hummel has ended_, the document stated.

"H-how did y-you…?" Kurt stammered.

"A friend of mine knows people upstairs," Tyler smirked. "So this is the famous Blaine?" He walked around the table, looking Blaine over. "And these two are Nick and Jeff, also known as the '3 6 Mafia'. I've heard all about you. I'm sure you've heard of me, right?"

"You and Kurt went on a date, and he told you no, but you didn't listen," Blaine said. "You followed him around for three weeks before he filed that restraining order."

"Did he tell you how much he led me on?" Tyler asked, his head tilting slightly.

"I did _not_ lead you on. I didn't lead any of you on!" Kurt snapped. "I told you all twice before, and I'll say it again: It's over. Don't act like it was some huge fucking surprise." Blaine, Nick, and Jeff all looked taken aback; none of them had heard Kurt curse before.

"Seems like all this time apart brought you some balls, Kurt," Tyler mocked. "How about we go on another date?"

"I'd sooner burn in Hell," he retorted.

"That can be arranged," Tyler said smoothly and pulled out a pistol. The four boys put their hands up. "Up against the wall, now," he ordered. Kurt, Blaine, Nick, and Jeff quietly and quickly went to the wall. "Okay, good job, so it's time to play a little game I like to call 'who lives and who dies?' That sound fun?" The boys looked at each other and nodded, playing along.

Tyler was suddenly knocked out. As he fell, the guys looked relieved to see Louis holding a meal tray.

"I couldn't stand to see you guys in trouble, despite how much Nick and Jeff need a little scare. When a guy with a gun comes in, can't slip past me," he said. He was then being hugged by Nick and Jeff. "Okay, guys, you're welcome, now get off." Louis pried the two off.

"What should we do with him?" Blaine asked, looking down at the unconscious Tyler.

"I think Jeff and I should get something, seeing as how we were abducted by Derek," Nick said.

"Something such as?" Kurt raised an eyebrow.

* * *

10 minutes later, Kurt and Blaine marveled at Nick and Jeff's use of the comatose Tyler. He was tied up and hanging upside down from a rope in Nick and Jeff's dorm.

"Wha-what happened?" Tyler asked, coming to. "Where the hell am I?"

"You're hanging upside down in room 36 at Dalton," Kurt replied.

"Get me down from here!" Tyler yelled.

"Good luck finding anyone to save you," Jeff said. "Nicky and I put up soundproofing so our so-called cuddling noises wouldn't be so loud for others." With that, he glared at Louis, who looked back at him.

"Eh, it's not so bad anymore," he shrugged.

"Anyway, I know that douchebag Sebastian sent you, but why so quickly following Santana?" Kurt asked.

"The only thing I'm saying is that I want you back, Hummel," Tyler said.

"Yet you pulled a gun on us? Are we taking the Lindy Todd route?" Kurt looked skeptical. "Lindy was this girl who pulled a gun on us at prom a few years back," he explained to Blaine, Nick, and Jeff. "Besides, didn't you get injured that night? The surge plug hit you in the face or something."

"Okay, so I had a black eye for a few weeks. That's not the point. The point is for you to get me down!" Tyler tried to struggle but no good came of it.

"Hey, I found his pistol," Nick said, walking over to them. "Can I shoot him?"

"No, Nick, you can't," Blaine sighed, taking the gun.

"Before we kill him, let me do just one thing." Kurt walked over to Tyler and punched him in the crotch. "That was for trying to get in my pants during the date. Proceed."

"You know regular bullets can't kill me." Tyler looked triumphant.

"I knew that, and Nick and Jeff have silver bullets. I still don't know why, but they have them," Kurt shrugged.

"It's just in case a werewolf gets in," Jeff said indignantly. Blaine rolled his eyes and Nick handed him a couple bullets.

"What werewolf is going to get in here?" Blaine asked while loading the gun. "If Jacob Black was to get in somehow, I don't think he'd be ready to kill you two. As far as I know, he'd probably be bitching about Bella I-can't-act-because-I-have-no-emotions and Edward I'm-so-awesome-because-I-sparkle."

"Hey, something we agree on," Tyler said from his binds. "Vampires are meant to be like Lestat or Angel or Eric Northman."

"Shut up," Blaine ordered before putting the gun to Tyler's head. "Do you have any last words?"

"I'm sorry?" Tyler asked.

"Good night," Blaine said, pulling the trigger. "Now, how many more times do I have to do this?"

"Two," Jeff quipped helpfully.

Blaine sighed heavily and dropped the gun on the floor before flopping down on the bed. "Kurt, come here," he said. Kurt walked over and kissed Blaine lightly on the lips. Nick and Jeff pretended to vomit, making gagging noises, and Blaine glared at them.

* * *

_**A/N**_: All I can hope for is I don't get canned for mentioning an Anne Rice character since we can't write any fanfiction of her work here. All opinions of _Twilight_ are that of my own. I still watch the movies because there's usually nothing else to see and because Taylor Lautner is hot.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N**_: I apologize for the nearly 3-month hiatus, but I hit a roadblock after Chapter 11, so I finally got something done. Also, sorry for the short chapter.

* * *

"So now that Creepy Stalker Dude is gone, who do we deal with next?" Nick asked; he, Jeff, Kurt, and Blaine sat on the floor in room 36.

"Isn't it Psycho Rapist?" Jeff looked at Kurt, who nodded. Blaine had his head in his hands.

"Blainers, are you okay?" Kurt asked softly, patting the boy on the back. Blaine raised his head and nodded.

"I'm just tired is all," he replied with a small smile.

"Is my love life too much?" Kurt joked, ruffling Blaine's hair.

"You could do without the seven psychotic exes, but I'll live with it," Blaine said.

"You two make my mouth taste like throw-up," Nick said, grimacing.

"Nicky, stop it." Jeff bumped shoulders with his boyfriend. "They're adorable, no questions asked."

"Is your rapist ex going to hurt me and Jeff like the burn victim?" Nick asked, now serious.

"Troy is…well, he's unpredictable, that's for sure," Kurt mused. "He's the kind of guy who just doesn't care for anyone else except himself. But, to answer your question…I really don't know. I think the best thing for you two is to stay out of the way."

"But we love you!" Jeff pouted. "We don't want you to get hurt."

"You mean even if it involves risking your own lives?" Kurt skeptically raised an eyebrow.

"He didn't hurt us really badly. He just tied us up," Nick shrugged. "Come on, Kurt, we can fight for ourselves."

"I highly doubt that," Kurt mumbled; Blaine heard this and smirked.

* * *

Right outside the window, Troy watched Kurt lean on the curly-haired Hobbit and gritted his teeth. It was Kurt who was such a tease when they dated, it was Kurt who tricked him and got him incarcerated, now Troy wanted revenge. He collected himself and slipped into the school, going directly to room 36. Sebastian had filled him in on everything.

"Who is it?" Nick and Jeff called in unison when the knock came. No answer.

"Make me get up," Nick grumbled, standing up and opening the door. Kurt froze when he saw the grin that never left his memory on the other side of the door.

"Hey, Kurt," Troy said. Kurt was immobilized in his position on the floor. "You don't look glad to see me."

"How could I be?" he squeaked. Blaine wrapped his arms protectively around Kurt and glared at the tall red-haired boy.

"Aw, how cute you two are together," Troy sneered.

"Stay away from them." Nick and Jeff moved in front of Kurt and Blaine.

"Out of the way, losers," Troy snapped, pushing past them. Nick and Jeff looked at each other and ran into the hallway.

"Where are you guys going?" Kurt yelled to no avail.

"Well, well, well, looks like your friends bailed. Come on, Kurt, let's go." Troy grabbed Kurt's wrist.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Kurt retorted, snatching his arm from Troy.

"Okay, who's after Klaine now?" Louis' voice asked, running into the room, a lunch tray in hand. He was tailed by Nick and Jeff.

"Louis!" Blaine called.

"Hmm, this one's going to need something heavier," Louis observed. "Nick, go get one of my golf clubs." Nick nodded and hurried off, returning about a minute later. He handed the club to Louis who nodded and moved behind Troy.

"Please, not again," Kurt whimpered. Troy had pushed Blaine out of the way and was advancing on Kurt. Louis reared back to swing but Troy caught the weapon and yanked it from Louis' hands.

"Oh shit," he muttered.

"You think just because that worked on Mitchell it would work on me?" he scoffed. Louis blinked and backed away. Troy took the club and bent it over his knee, tossing it to the side.

"Okay, we need a new plan," Louis whispered to Nick and Jeff. "Let's go."

"Wait!" Kurt shrieked but the three boys were gone.

"You're coming with me," Troy said, lifting Kurt over his shoulder. Blaine moved to try and hit Troy again, but he was knocked against the wall, rendering him unconscious.

"Blaine!"

"Shut it. Let's go."


	13. Chapter 13

"Shit," Louis grumbled once entering room 36 again. Blaine was coming to and Kurt was gone. "Blaine, what happened?"

"I was knocked out and he took Kurt," Blaine said, shaking his head. "We have to go get him, guys. Please." Tears pricked at Blaine's eyes, but he didn't care.

"We will, Blaine, we will," Louis promised, patting his friend on the shoulder. "Niff, never have I thought I'd do this, but here are my keys. Go get my car. Take off with it and I'll kill you both." The two nodded and rushed out of the room. "Blaine, sit down and listen to me, okay?" Blaine complied and wiped his eyes.

"You love Kurt, he loves you back. We will rescue him and defeat his exes so you two can be happy together. There is nothing I want more than for you to be happy, Blaine. You're my best friend." Louis wrapped his arms around the shaking brunet.

"Thank you, Louis," Blaine whispered.

"You're welcome. Now let's go find Kurt." Louis pulled Blaine up by the hand and the two ran out.

* * *

"Blaine's coming for me, Blaine's coming for me," Kurt whispered to himself. He was sitting in a barn, tied to a rafter.

"He's not coming for you, Kurt," Troy sneered, grinning from below. "Your curly-haired little Hobbit doesn't have the brains for something like this."

"He took out five of Sebastian's crones, he can take you too!" Kurt shot back, struggling against his binds. Troy simply smirked and grabbed a gun from a nearby table, placing it in his back pocket.

* * *

"Are you sure we checked all over Westerville?" Blaine asked, sighing. Louis piloted his car, Blaine was in the passenger seat, and Nick and Jeff were in back, making out.

"Damn it, Niff, take your tongues out of each other's mouths and help us look or so help me God, I will dump both your asses on the highway," Louis threatened. The two shot up and started looking out the window.

"Hey, I see someone! It looks like Troy!" Nick exclaimed a few minutes later. Blaine spun around and Louis took a sharp left, pulling up to a barn. The four boys got out of the car and walked cautiously towards the barn, where they could hear Kurt's sobs.

"It's Kurt," Jeff whispered.

"Okay, Nick, Jeff, go in through the back," Louis instructed. "And take this with you," he added, handing Nick a golf club. "Jeff, you too." He handed Jeff one. "Blaine, you come with me through the front." Louis and Blaine took a deep breath and walked into the barn.

"Troy!" Blaine shouted. The guy looked up and smirked.

"Blaine!" Kurt sobbed. Blaine looked up to see Kurt tied to a timber.

"I'm coming, Kurt!" he called. Louis coughed and handed Blaine something from behind. Blaine found his Hattori Hanzō sword in his hand.

"Oh, I heard about you and that sword, Hobbit," Troy sneered. "It may have been able to make Milstead implode, but I'm stronger than that little twat."

"Louis, do you have anything stronger?" Blaine whispered.

"I figured the sword might not work, so here, take this," Louis replied, passing Blaine a short silver stick.

"You think that's going to stop me? A baton?" Troy laughed. Louis pressed a button on the stick; it was a lightsaber.

"Louis, did you go to Hollywood and rob museums or something?" Nick asked. Louis rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"eBay?" Jeff quipped.

"Bingo," he said, crossing his arms with a satisfied smile.

"Does it work?" Kurt called from above. Blaine examined the weapon and tried to cut through a metal shelf; the shelf split in two.

"Oh yeah, it works." Louis nodded. "And there goes one-thousand-three-hundred-fifty dollars."

"$1,350?!"

"What? You expect something like this to be free?" Blaine smirked at this and started towards Troy, who looked shocked at Blaine's weapon choice.

"Okay, maybe I overreacted," he said, putting his hands up.

"So the lightsaber scares off Mr. Big Rapist Guy?" Nick tittered at this.

"Maybe, huh? Well, Kurt did say you raped him," Blaine said calmly, twirling the lightsaber in his hand.

"It is not rape if he consented to it, right, Kurt?" Troy looked up at Kurt, who scoffed.

"Cut him!" Blaine nodded and sliced Troy down the middle. Nick and Jeff ran towards Troy and found themselves showered in coins.

* * *

Eventually, the coins were totaled to $666,666.66 and Louis had to drag Nick and Jeff back to the car after they stuffed their pockets.

"Six down, one to go, right?" Blaine asked Kurt, who nodded.

"Yep," Kurt sighed. "Knowing Sebastian, he'll make us wait. We can focus on Regionals then."

"I love you," Blaine smiled.

"Love you too."

* * *

"How the hell did that fucking Hobbit take out all six of them?" Sebastian paced his lair. Chandler walked in and handed him a coffee. "Damn it, Jonathan! I told you non-fat with Courvoisier!"

"I couldn't find any, Mr. Smythe. I'm sorry," Chandler apologized hastily. "They won't let me buy alcohol. I'm only eighteen."

"Did I hire you so you can complain about being underage?" Sebastian snapped. Chandler sighed and left the room.

"You're fucking dead, Hobbit."

* * *

_**A/N**_: Sorry for the short chapter. The story's almost over, but it'll kick into high gear now! Next up: Regionals, and then the final showdown!


	14. Chapter 14

A few months later, the Warblers were to face off against the New Directions at Regionals. There had been no contact between the boys at Dalton and Sebastian. Things were going well; for the New Directions, Rachel sang "_A Piece of Sky_" and Mercedes, Tina, and Santana led on "_Fame_"; now the Warblers were about to perform.

"From Westerville, Ohio, the Dalton Academy Warblers!" the announcer proclaimed. The blazered boys hurried into place as Nick took center stage.

"_Hey, baby, thought you were the one who tried to run away_

_Ooh, baby, wasn't I the one who made you want to stay?_

_Please don't bet that you'll ever escape me_

_Once I get my sights on you_"

Jeff came out and joined him:

"_Got a license to kill (to kill)_

_And you know I'm goin' straight for your heart_

_(Got a license to kill)_

_Got a license to kill (to kill)_

_Anyone who tries to tear us apart_

_(Got a license to kill)_

_License to kill_"

"_Hey baby, think you need a friend to stand here by your side?_

_Yes, you do (your side)_

_Ohh, baby, now you can depend on me to make things right (things right)_

_Please don't bet that you'll ever escape me_

_Once I get my sights on you…_"

Suddenly, Nick and Jeff felt a weird sensation and a bright blue light flashed over the stage. The audience complained and shielded their eyes. Nick looked around and saw that along with him and Jeff, Kurt, Blaine, and Louis were among the ones being taken.

* * *

When the five boys came to, they found themselves in a circular room and no door was in sight.

"Where are we?" Jeff groaned, rubbing his head. "Why does my head hurt so much?"

"Shit," Blaine muttered; he began to feel the walls searching for a way out. Kurt sat up and straightened his blazer.

"Blaine, you mind telling us where we are?" Louis asked, pushing a stirring Nick off of him.

"This is Sebastian's prison," Blaine replied, still searching for a crevice.

"That's right," a new voice said. Jeff looked around wildly for the source. "You can't see me, blondie." Jeff blanched at the nickname and helped Nick up.

"Sebastian, what do you want?" Kurt shouted.

"I want you, Kurt," Sebastian said smoothly. "I told you you'd regret breaking up with me. It seems like you didn't listen."

"Yeah?" Kurt retorted. "Well, where are they all now? Decapitated? Imploded? Burned to death? Orgasm-based explosion? Shot? Sliced in half? That's right, they're all dead. And you're next."

Sebastian chuckled and the boys heard a beep as a chute opened. "Come on in." Kurt stormed forward, Blaine right behind him and Louis and Niff trailing them. Sebastian was lounging in a large revolving chair in the middle of a row of computers.

"Nice to see you again, Kurt," he smirked. "Like the new setup?" Kurt was breathing hard, walking right up to the console and slapping Sebastian across the face.

"You manipulative, scheming, rat-faced bastard," the brunet hissed. "What is wrong with you? Didn't anyone ever teach you the meaning of the word "no"?" Sebastian's smirk slipped a little from the slap, but remained. Blaine stared, transfixed on his angry beyond belief boyfriend.

"I missed this, Kurt. You and me, you looking pissy as always, me looking…well…like a guy who doesn't throw hissy fits," Sebastian sneered. "I just want to talk to Blaine, so I suggest you get that tight petite ass of yours out of the way."

"Fuck you, Smythe," Kurt growled. Sebastian raised an eyebrow and within a second, Kurt was on the ground, holding his cheek and glaring daggers at his ex-boyfriend.

"You shouldn't use such profane language, Kurt," Sebastian continued in a pleasant voice, standing up and walking around the console to Kurt. "I thought you were a Dalton boy. I heard they were spruce and dapper. If you were, such words wouldn't come from that pretty little mouth." Blaine was presently being held back by the combined efforts of Niff and Louis.

"Blaine, you gotta calm down. If you lose it, he's going to do something really fucked," Louis warned.

"Got that right, Herlihy." Sebastian looked up at Louis. "I've heard all about you and your fascination for being film props off eBay." Louis swallowed and stared at Sebastian, trying to conceal his fear. "As for these two," Sebastian shook his head, looking at the evident fright in Nick and Jeff's faces, "the 3 6 Mafia. Can't you boys come up with a cleverer name?"

"You fucking psycho!" Blaine yelled, wrenching away from his friends' grips.

"Blaine Anderson." Sebastian turned to face Blaine. "What's the matter? Can't reach high enough to claw my eyes out? I know what you want. You want to tear me limb from limb for making Kurt Hummel's life a living hell. Am I right? Of course I'm right." Blaine reached for the taller boy's shirt, but Sebastian simply shoved him backwards.

"Don't touch him!" Kurt hurried and stood in front of Blaine. "It's me you want. Just please, Seb, don't hurt him."

"He's done more than enough damage, Kurt. He cost me my entire crew. All I have left is Jonathan," Sebastian explained calmly. "Before they all exploded or whatever, your exes had jobs and part of their stipend went to me to help get back at you for screwing them over. But you and the Hobbit offed them all."

"Why did you start this in the first place? What did I do that is so awful?"

"You want to know why there is an alliance of psychos out for the blood of your beloved Blainers. Because you fucked them all over, Kurt. You hurt them. Luke was first; he told me that he loved you. You helped him come out of his shell and then you went and fooled with that cynical douche Dan. Although Derek doesn't actually count as an ex, you outed him as a pedophile."

"It's not my fault he liked checking out pre-teen boys," Kurt said defensively.

"Fair point, but you didn't have to tell everyone," Sebastian replied reasonably. "Well, then Santana, that's not all your fault either. She's just full of rage. I'm not condemning you for her either."

"What about Tyler?" Louis spoke up.

"Mitchell told me he went on a date with Kurt after some crazy prom incident involving the school going up in flames."

"Kurt! You didn't tell us that!" Nick and Jeff looked scandalized.

"I have the right to some secrets," Kurt shot back.

"Troy said he raped Kurt, is that true?" Blaine asked. Sebastian sighed and nodded.

"It's true. They dated for a few months; I've heard both sides of this story and Kurt alleges that Troy became clingier by the day and eventually got wasted or something and raped him in a classroom at one in the morning."

"What did Troy have to say?"

"He said Kurt was becoming distant and was flirting with other boys, making him jealous. It was mostly a bunch of what I believed to be bullshit."

"You really believe that?" Kurt looked up at Sebastian, eyes wide. Sebastian nodded.

"I know you hate me, but, in all the time we spent together, you've never lied to me," he said.

"So…is there gonna be a fight?" Jeff piped up.

"Can we all live like civilized people and forget that people exploded into coins?" Blaine looked at Sebastian.

"As long as I'm here, I'm not going to stop until Kurt is mine," Sebastian replied.

"In that case, bring it on."

* * *

_**A/N**_: Another action-packed chapter and a finale. Thanks for your reviews.


	15. Chapter 15

Blaine glared at Sebastian and pulled the lightsaber from his back pocket, activating it and going for Sebastian. The taller brunet ducked each swing and grabbed the light, breaking it in half. Nick and Jeff looked shocked.

"No one…can…" Louis whispered.

"I can." Sebastian grabbed the other half and yanked, throwing Blaine against the opposite wall. The boy groaned and sat up. "I'm much more powerful than you think. None of Herlihy's little eBay weapons can hurt me." Blaine stood up and threw himself at Sebastian, punching every inch he could reach.

"Go, Blaine!" Nick and Jeff called out. Blaine was easily overpowered and was propelled across the room again.

"Anderson, you can't win against me. Why are you still trying?" Sebastian sneered, brushing off his suit. Blaine was leaning against the wall. Kurt walked over to Blaine and helped him up. "Thanks, Kurt," Blaine panted.

"Mr. Smythe, I have your…" A tall blond boy walked in and his eyes widened at the events in front of him.

"Not now, Jonathan!" Sebastian snapped. Kurt and Blaine saw the boy's eye twitch and watched as the coffee cup sailed across the room, hitting Sebastian in the chest.

"My name is Chandler, not Jonathan. I've worked for you for three years and you never bothered to remember my name," he yelled. "I quit!" Without another word, the boy stormed out of the room.

"Kurt, what are you doing?" Kurt had turned and walked back over to a still-smirking Sebastian.

"Our love was nothing," he said. Sebastian winced at this and sat down quickly. "I never loved you. I just wanted to feel like someone loved me." Each proclamation made the brunet flinch and look down. "You're nothing to me, Sebastian Smythe. You're a coward and a whore and a fucking psychopath. We were never an item."

"Blaine…" Louis whispered, pushing something across the floor. It was Thor's hammer. "It's not real, but it's freaking heavy." Kurt was still going.

"I know your parents kicked you out when you came out to them. You told me everything: how you spent the night at Scandals and lost your virginity to a 40-year-old. As for all those claims about being in France before Dalton, you just told everyone that to avoid the fact that you prostituted yourself until you had enough money to get in." Kurt was on a roll and Sebastian was now curled into a ball on his throne.

Blaine picked up the prop and nearly collapsed from the weight, but dragged it over to Sebastian's throne and lifted it up.

"Goodbye, sicko," he hissed, bringing it down on him and the room was showered in gold. Everyone looked on in awe and when it came raining down shrieked and shielded themselves.

* * *

"Is this madness over?" Blaine asked Kurt, who nodded and kissed him passionately.

"Klaine!" Nick and Jeff shouted; the two looked at each other and chuckled.

"You're Kurt, right?" A new voice asked. Kurt looked up to see Sebastian's recently-quit assistant.

"Yeah, and you're Chandler?" The boy smiled at the acknowledgement. "You need anything?"

"Um, yeah, you see, before Sebastian abducted you guys, he trained me and I'm supposed to stop you from getting away." Chandler pulled a sword from his belt.

"Do we have to?" Blaine whined. "I just smashed the biggest douche in the world. Can't we move on?"

"You don't even want Kurt, do you?" Louis interjected.

"No, but I told Sebastian I'd do this," Chandler replied.

"He's dead. He doesn't have to know," Louis muttered. "Chandler?" The blond looked up. "Since you're out of a job, we'll take you back to Dalton and maybe you can live the normal life of a prep school teenager. How does that sound?"

Chandler seemed to mull this over before smiling. "Okay." He put the sword down and walked out of the room with the five boys.

* * *

When the six returned to Dalton, they found the rehearsal room dark. Blaine flicked on the light, only to find both the New Directions and the Warblers.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Nick and Jeff texted us with the news that Kurt's free of that psycho, so we came over," Artie explained.

"Who's this?" Cameron asked, slinging an arm on Chandler's shoulder.

"That's Chandler, Sebastian's assistant. He quit because Sebastian could never remember his name," Louis said. "I just remembered something, who won Sectionals?"

Rachel crossed her arms and sulked. "We tied."

"So we're all going to Regionals!" Sam said the obvious.

"Uh-duh." Louis made a face. Nick swatted his shoulder.

"Louis, be nice," he hissed.

"You know what I feel like doing?" Kurt said. "I feel like performing." He and Blaine moved to the middle of the room as the Warblers began harmonizing.

"_Looking in your eyes, I know I'm right_

_If there's anything worth my love, it's worth a fight_

_We only get one chance_

_But nothing ties our hands_

_You're what I want_

_Listen to me_

_Nothing I want_

_Is out of my reach_

"_(I'm free)_

_Heaven helps the man who fights his fear_

_Love's the only thing that keeps me here_

_You're the reason that I'm hanging on_

_My heart's staying where my heart belongs_

_(I'm free)_

_Running away will never make me free_

_And nothing we sign is any kind of guarantee_

_But I wanna hold you now_

_And I won't hold you down_"

* * *

**A/N**: Alas, my readers, we are over. I love your reviews and your follows and your favorites. See you in another fic.


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